Today I can actually respond to the prompt… I kind of feel like I’m “cheating” when I don’t. But the whole guilt thing is another blog entry for another day. Would you like to know who I see as the Ultimate Customer for my book (yet to be written)? Read on:
Are you an average woman? Do you get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and wonder “Who is that old broad and how did she get into my bathroom?” Do you write lists of all the things you need to do, and then forget the list on your way out the door? Did you lose your waistline recently? And have you looked under the bed, in the closet and in the kitchen junk drawer, hoping to find it again? When you put on that camisole, do you realize that Gravity Does Happen, and you are the perfect Ms. July for that calendar? Do you look across the room in the restaurant, see that thin, glamorous woman picking at her salad, and dream of running her over in the parking lot, before digging into your chicken parmesan?
If you recognize yourself here, then you need to read my book! Not only will you find the answers to your secret desires (“Shapewear That Lets You Go To The Bathroom Without Undressing” – Chapter 6), but you will find a new kinship, a new sense of sisterhood with all your fellow average women.
Think that’s great? Then you will be glad to know that, for limited time, you can order a second copy of my book as the perfect gift to your friend, your mother-in-law, or that annoying woman in the next cubicle. Just pay additional shipping and handling!
But wait … if you order now, you will also get, FREE, my list of 3 tried and true responses to your children that will keep you out of a fight while driving them crazy! Who says you have to wait until they are older to get your revenge?
Quantities are limited, so put your finger on the phone, pick up your mouse and get ready to click your way to peace, tranquility and a sense of oneness with the Universe!
Sandi Tuttle is the host of the Blog Talk Radio show “An Average Woman in a Superwoman World” (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/sandi-tuttle).